how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
