There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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