you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
