spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
