everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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