Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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