I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
