He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
