I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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