he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
