I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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