Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
