I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
