thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
