i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Success! We fucked roommates!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize