hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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