You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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