The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize