Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
