Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
