Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
