she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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