in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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