tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize