I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize