Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
