Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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