My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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