Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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