Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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