Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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