I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
