hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
