so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
