don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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