did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
