they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
