Best friends brother. Beat that.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
