I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
