I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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