I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize