i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
