Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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