and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
