You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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