My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
