I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
