If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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