nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
