when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
