ya dads aren't the best wingmen
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
