We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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