I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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