Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
