he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
