Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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