I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
