No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
