I'm eating all of the evidence.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
