Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
