my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
