I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize