im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
