Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
