he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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