Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
