Don't you send me to vm
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
