omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
